Past vs Now

= (  Night
2.16AM

A day with rush. Morning the Unifi Technician came over to fix the line as they fix till the late 1PM while all family went out for lunch except me alone in the house waiting the technician finish fixing my line. Sometimes I just so hard, just ask for a little help from sister and she start showing faces. Sometimes I rather do it myself while keeping the pain inside. Then for the whole day rushing here and there to buy some CNY stuff and back home at 4.30PM.

It's dinner time. Uncle invited us to join the dinner in Cheras which is the Porridge Steamboat. It's good and already ate a few time. It's been sometimes that never meet with my cousins, but now all had changed and it's a gadget world.

What can we do? Pressing the phone for the whole time or playing games?








By night, family and I were folding paper which needed for pray purpose. After that, nothing much more to do.

This was my family in the past, same as in the picture shown above. Warm together and having the family time together.

How about now?

The gadget world. Everyone doing their own business while turned the TV on. Little brother with the Gameboy, Little sister with her phone, Dad with his Pokerist and Mom with her facebook games on her laptop. While me? I'm just sitting at my desktop facing the facebook and keep on clicking refresh. When I started to sit down at the sofa, no one borders. All continue busy with their device, while the TV left on. I downloaded movies but they got no time to watch as their busy. Even if I turn on the movie, they will be just busying their devices.

Time had changed. Last time we use to hang out everywhere, but now everyone with the reason of working or daily activities causes them tired so lazy to go out. I always hope to hang out more with family, it just so hard to hang out with them as I had started to work. End up now, we only hang out in the Saturday, as every week is the same, Midvalley > Lunch > Jusco Arcade Game > Juice Work > Home. Anything els? No. Sometimes if lucky, we get to go Paradigm Mall but without dad because he needed to visit temple till after lunch, therefore to me that is not a Family Outing.

What can I do? Nothing. Nothing but just facing the desktop clicking the refresh button. Everyone says, my problems are so minor compare to theirs. But who understand that my problems causes me so down? I can't solve my problems to let go my problems but nobody can helps but giving words to me that is pushing me even deeper into the dark. I know you had more problems than me, but I'm sorry I only know my problems cannot be solve rather than comparing. If really I can handle my problems I don't have to be like this. Comparing will not help but forcing more darkness.

What can I do? In the Western, when their children get sick they will take care of them with warm words. In Asia? Don't even let people know you are sick cause they will scold you or 'say' you. This is why whenever the Asian's child get sick they will just keep silent. I'm tired, I always get gastric when sad, I always forget things, I always feel tired. I really need to find a place to relax, but I simply can't.....

2.51AM
9-2-2013